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SMS Messages "Jokes SMS Messages"

Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr
Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: "Father in law".

What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain.
sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker
Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!
Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 45 pounds!!
Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a Girl can makes him Stupid in 2 minutes.
2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...
Q: A Man asked Santa,
"Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "
Pehle date of birth to batao."
2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister.
How do you make a Sardar laugh on "Saturday"?
Tell him "a joke on Tuesday
A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"
A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"
Sardar Get Engaged with girl,
soon he came 2 know she had no affair b4,
he brokn the relation every 1 asked the reason!He said

"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

Q. What happens to cows during an earthquake?
A. They give milk shakes!

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

I have a confession to make
ever since i met u its been hard for me to 4get u
every night i see u in my dreams
and find myself shouting
U have a brain disease. Your brain is in 2 parts, left and right. Left brain has nothing right in it and right brain has nothing left in it.
Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.
Keep the school clean ... stay home!

Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!
Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.
Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
Someday u may lose ur hair. u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But
1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks. coz u cant lose whatt u don't have!

Earth may stop Rotating,
Birds may stop Flying,
Candles may stop Melting,
Fishes may stop Swimming,
Heart may stop Beating,
But your Brain will
never start working!
Sweet candies are very nice to eat,
Sweet words are easy to say,
But Sweet people are hard to find. My goodness...
How did u find me ...??
A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking
H - hehehe
I - I'm

I saw U on the road that day
U Were Looking so fine
Ur Face So Divine
Ur Walk So Perfect
My Heart Started to Sing a Sweet Song??????.
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three?
Husband: 4 u and ur parents.


A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly ?
The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!

What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
I want to share Everything with you.
Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY MOMENTS Every single
second of day Let us START with your ATM Password first.

When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
Answer : On their Wedding !!

Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog's life!
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Heartbeats are countless .... Spirits are ageless .... Dreams are endless..... Memories are timeless.... A friend like you ....... Shameless!!!

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
Based on Newton's 1st Law: Law of love Love neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can be changed frm one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

wen tings go rong, wen tears flow 4rm ur eyes, wen sadness fills ur heart, plz inform me-coz my frnd sells tissues BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
Birds love u,
Giraffe love u,
Goat love u,
Elephant love u,
Go to zoo,
They all miss u.

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

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